end of summer...beginning yet again

It is exactly one week into my new job at Creative Innovations Inc., working for their girls group home and shelter for children in child protective services. Although there is too much to try and share currently from the challenges of this job so far, I have actually some other exciting things on my mind these days, inspired and coming from of course- a book:) However prayers for the job is so much appreciated!! Thanks.

I am almost finished with the last book in the Fitzwilliam Darcy Gentlemen series by Pamela Aidan.What a pleasure it brings me! (and it will for anyway who has read Pride & Prejudice before)

I am in a realization phase of its artistry, of the underlying understanding first of all of Jane Austen's famous fictional novel which has come to be almost real to its faithful admirers. And second, the creative muse of Aidan to tell another part of the story that is most left out of Austen's version. To me, this is a pure example of art at its core-always evolving and re-creating, working off of its predecessors, as humbly as possible, honoring who and what came before them. That excites me exceedingly! Why you say? I think just because it says there are no wrong steps, only imagination, creativity and newness at every turn! Art allows such freedom and beauty manifests itself. And again for all you Jane Austen freaks--the three books feed your lingering curiosities of Mr. Darcy and much more...

It is at times such as these, when I begin to wonder at my choice of vocation- i know, i know I'm still there, blame it on Messiah College (ha) i.e., counseling/social work to weigh it against the possibility of involvement in more of the art world. But that thought process is so vague and underdeveloped at this point, so that is all I will say on the matter:) I do regret. Yes, however I find it necessary to acknowledge what exactly those regrets are, not being ashamed of them but to let go of them and move on. In the Life of Pi, the author says something similar to this moving on business. I quote Yan Martel, he says,
"Doubt is useful for a while...If Christ played with doubt than so must we...but we must move on. To choose doubt as a philosophy of life (referring here to agnostics) is a kin to choosing immobility as a means of transportation."

As Pamela Aidan's bio says she is a "librarian, teacher and storyteller, who claims a life long love of Jane Austen and the world of Regency England" -makes me want to know what my bio could be in 20 years! and my friends' too!

I can only imagine.

*Last thing, here is another quote taken from Life of Pi I thought very provoking: the author is a Christian

"Atheists are my brothers and sisters of a different faith and every word they speak, speaks of faith. Like me they go as far as the legs of reason will take me. And then they leap." -Yan Martel

Amen. Peace and Grace be with you my brothers and sisters- out there in cyber space:)

Can't Hurry Love

I've been reading alot about LOVE, in The Shack, which i do highly recommend for someone confused with Christian theology, especially the Trinity as well as the question of where is God in our world?

on a simpler note, i heard these favorite lyrics of mine from an oldie but goody;)

"I need love, love
To ease my mind
I need to find, find someone to call mine
But mama said

You cant hurry love
No, you just have to wait
She said love dont come easy
Its a game of give and take

You cant hurry love
No, you just have to wait
You got to trust, give it time
No matter how long it takes

But how many heartaches
Must I stand before I find a love
To let me live again
Right now the only thing
That keeps me hangin on
When I feel my strength, yeah
Its almost gone
I remember mama said:

You cant hurry love
No, you just have to wait
She said love dont come easy
Its a game of give and take"

the other day my mom said in the car after a similar song, "they just don't make songs like this anymore!"

I can agree with her now:)

more of my book review soon...

Afraid to Judge

It is time once again for a blog reflection time for me. Many things have transpired since my last post. The most exciting of which is I got a job!! I have not begun it yet though--It is going to be a position working in a girls group home in Phoenix for a non-profit org called Creative Innovations. More on that I am sure, later.

Most of what i want to share however is not about future expectations and plans here in Arizona exactly, it is more about being unanimous with my sister and mother about the evils of technology! I can get so fired up about this and don't realize until it starts to come up in conversation. I am not sure about many things and am hesitant to label any "one thing" bad/evil/destructive/to be avoided, BUT...I KNOW it is ok to question where we are going as a people completely absorbed in being "connected". Honestly though (venting) I am getting tired, even of myself using that as an excuse for constantly checking texts, facebook, twitter, email, etc. Are we truly more communicable and connected to others because of all the new "applications"? Or have we increased our supposed popularity, mastered living on the surface by only exposing our best selves to the world? Were we even created with the capacity to maintain 1,500 friendships? It is incredible though because when you think about it in these terms, we are redefining certain vocabulary, like the word friend for example. I mean is that going to be a new definition in our dictionaries twenty years from now? Friend: a person one chooses to be able to view one's facebook profile page on the internet...and clarifying what de-friending and friending mean as well? HA! This in itself fascinates me and makes me think back to a book I read in school about creating new culture"

Here's an honest question from me- to you, readers:

Is a reason why we stay on our computers more and do less face to face interaction and traveling physically to see a friend or stranger simply from fear and anxiety? Or has it at least contributed to increased amounts of phobias and fears? I mean how many people have broken up or had hard conversations with another person over email or chatting online instead of watching the other person's reaction in their face and having to live with it? Isn't it somewhat easier to be more brutal or more blunt or just say things we wouldn't out loud, when we can type them to a screen with no face?

more venting--

A commercial we had to sit through at least 3 times before a movie this afternoon was from the NOW network informing us that millions of people bought their tickets on their phone or watched trailers of the film on their phone!!! Like OMG, who gives a F*%$!?? is what I'm screaming in my head!


Also I think about how unhappy and unfulfilled most people tell you that they are and want their lives to look and be different, then why not try cutting out some of the unnecessary? They can't unless they are totally convinced about the success of such an endeavour...most people will prefer to stay miserable but be "in the know" and up-to-date with the latest advancement, rather than try to alter something in their routine to allow space for peace to enter in. What happened to connection with oneself and one's God or Deity? So many things are dying and are becoming lost arts, lost habits, lost traditions and it pains me to see this happen. I keep feeling like I am so "old-fashioned" in a sense and want to try and explore and understand that; hopefully to do something productive about it but it kind of feels fruitless at this point because everyone seems to be enthralled in today's technology! And so I'm trying here to have a conversation about this, with those who may not agree with me. Because it is easier and convenient to just go on and on preaching to the choir (my mom and sister) about this stuff.

My sister brings up a good point in that technology these days are negatively affecting our children. They are getting used to instant gratification which will ultimately produce impatience, correct? And are we as creative now or inquisitive to find information when we know that google or wickepedia can answer anything we have? Will we ever have great musicians like in the past who composed symphonies when there's music accessible to us everywhere?

Perhaps it is from studying cultures alot that makes me wonder can I really say any kind of culture is bad or good? Who am I to say that writing on paper versus writing on a blackberry is better? (I know--Trees are saved using the blackberry, that is the obvious and use able excuse for defending this way of communicating) I don't know if people in the past before computers and multi-media were any less depressed and were more truly connected and simply better, more decent people, but I'm acknowledging that most of the time i do have that rosy-colored picture of the past...writing that now even seems very wrong and jumping to conclusions. I mean, aren't people continually the same in their flaws? Have we progressed much in ethics and morality? I mean were those who worked and tilled the ground for food and saw the entire process through to their dinner tables better off and more thankful people then we are now who shop thoughtlessly at the grocery stores and shove whatever in our mouths?

I need to stop ranting and raving at some point though, and choose to DO something in response.

I realize I am asking a huge question here, a question of humanity's progression through history and so forth...Is this just a fruitless enterprise? I don't think so because I don't want to become mindless and incapable of holding my own view on things and if we let something this big and expansive like technology rule our daily lives, than that cannot be good!
a conclusion:

I guess I hold by the philosophy that too much of anything is not good for you. And it definitely goes with technology these days.

this is blog post worthy!!

So you know when you meet famous people, they usually stun you and you're awe-struck and suddenly mute? Well it is true. Thanks to Holly, my sister, however I was able to speak once she broke the ice to---Amanda Borden!! (1996 USA Gold Medal Olympic Gymnastics Champion, part of the Magnificent 7) whom I idolized as one of my favorites among the USA team that summer I was glued to the tv set and religiously re-watched the tapes of her routines, AND the reason i might add, I decided to start taking gymnastics at the old age (for the sport) of 10! This is all simply so amusing to me and I hope to some other readers. But it is just a beautiful thing to see this girl, now woman and mother still beaming with her beautiful smile and teaching my little Josephine (niece) on the balance beam no less!!!! I was able, after Holly introduced me, to tell Amanda I am a huge fan and it was an honor to meet her. She said I made her day (since many of her current students were not even born when she was in the Olympics), but heck! She knows not that she made my life! just kidding, but I have to be dramatic here.

I couldn't use enough explanation points!!!!!!!!!!!!!

READERS--who are your idols from childhood??? any similar awe-striking experiences? And no, Jesus is not the correct answer here. get creative here:)

STILL A LITTLE GIRL - IN MANY MANY WAYS

Spinning, laughing, dancing to her favorite song
A little girl with nothing wrong. Is all alone.

Eyes wide open, Always hoping for the sun.
And she'll sing her song to anyone that comes along.

Fragile as a leaf in autumn.
Just fallin' to the ground.
Without a sound.
Crooked little smile on her face, Tells a tale of grace...That's all her own.

Spinning, laughing, dancing to her favorite song
A little girl with nothing wrong. And she's all alone

-song lyrics by Norah Jones