I don't know what it feels like to be told, "I'm sorry but you have cancer" so I am not attempting to describe how I feel but simply to put it out there for anyone who is reading this; to please remember those affected by this awful word and awful disease for that matter.
I recently heard from my two friends of their mother's getting breast cancer.
Please take this time to be silent, meditate, pray, reflect on these two women and for their families and loved ones.
Thank you.
Saturday, June 28, 2008
Saturday, June 21, 2008
Turning a new Page
What a beautiful event I have just returned from! Two good friends just got married this morning at my home church and I couldn't help but smile at what I saw and tear up at what I heard. It was a long engagement for this couple and part of it was spend apart with him oversees serving our country and so this day was such a joyful one for them and all their connections. My favorite part of weddings (now that I've been to quite a few, with older siblings and cousins during my younger years and my very own friends these days) is watching the groom as the bride walks down.
The pastor, a former youth pastor for us back in high school, married them and I won't forget his message. Well there were a few but especially this; he said that both people came together in this marriage already complete and whole people and they knew who they were in God. So that now, their love could be so real and true and genuine because neither of them will need to find something in one another but their relationship is a wonderful gift from God for their betterment. I find it to be so true that when people are content and love themselves they can bring much more to another person and that relationship because they aren't looking selfishly for more or are in need of certain things to help their self-esteem. This is not to say however that their love is less intense, passionate or exciting and the pastor also reminded them of this as well; that even with their Earnest personalities they must remember to love with "reckless abandonment" and to not buy into the saying that love grows dimmer as the couple ages in marriage. He claimed quite the opposite actually.
I recently was reading a sermon on a similar idea of love. He (the minister) poses the question of how should love be dispensed? should it be frugally, cautiously, wisely, or sparingly? No, true love is wasteful and impractical. He made the correlation of this with the story (Mark 14) of Mary pouring the entire bottle of perfume on Jesus' feet. The other disciples and people he was eating with didn't understand her at all and immediately began criticizing her before Jesus and then Jesus tells them this, "Leave her alone. Why are you bothering her? She has done a beautiful thing to me. The poor will always be with you, and you can help them any time you want. But you will not always have me. She did what she could. She poured perfume on my body before to prepare for my burial. I tell you the truth, wherever the gospel is preached throughout the world, what she has done will also be told, in memory of her."
I found myself thinking anthropologically as I sat there witnessing this marriage service take place. I was becoming overwhelmed with thankfulness for the culture I am apart of and the customs and traditions we uphold; like this occasion of marriage for example. I think it is such a blessing we have to make marriage such a public and formal event to not only give the couple attention and honor but also for the betterment of the community itself-to remind those who are in attendance of the important things in life to uphold and respect and be in awe of. I thought how this service is an example of my American culture (as well as many others in their varying styles and customs) and in turn demonstrates some of my culture's values and traditions.
Interestingly too in a conversation with someone afterwards, this idea of comparing our culture with others came up. She was merely saying how she has been able to become content and happy "living at home still" as an adult. And what helped her get to this point she told me was the realization from study of other parts of the world that she would be looked at as quite the norm everywhere else, where people live with their families for years and years. She said it is only in this country or culture that you have people looking at you like you're weird when you end up living close to your own kin. I was happy for her and to see another example of how thinking anthropologically is so healthy!
As my post title says...turning a new page...this is kind of the second part. First it was my friends' marriage as a page being turned in their life and now I will share what page my life has turned from and where I see it heading.
This is the beginning of an entry on April 22, 2008.
"I can do it. I do have control over my life. I will go to class. I will go to work. I will "fake it to make it" ... I will accept the consequences of my previous behavior and choices made when depressed... I will be careful not to have higher expectations than is reasonable and appropriate. I do have ability to turn my attitude away from the comforting darkness.
I am strong. I will get better."
I'm still looking back at this last year and semester, smiling, as it was so much of a fight for survival which turned into so much more! I wanted to share for a change one of the positive/uplifting voices I have and hope it can reveal an honest face-value look at someone (quite ordinary and much like others out there) treating and getting better from depression and anxiety or any other mental disorder or illness.
I've been feeling what it is like to live a stable, functioning, life for months on end now and it has been incredible and very rewarding and fulfilling. So far this summer I have intensely job searched, gone on a roadtrip with my boyfriend and friends to Acadia NP in Maine for a week, Job searched some more, visited my boyfriend at his home before he left for a cross-the-country roadtrip, job searched a more...and now (finally) work through a temp agency and do clerical and filing work and also give swim lessons on the side. Working about 40 hours a week keeping me busy but still enough time for checking out 11 books at the library.
I love Summer Life. I really think i'm built for it. Work is good and mindless so i'm not stressed, then evenings spent curled up on a couch reading a good book or watching a movie with a friend (namely my other half, Kate Laramie).
The most exciting thing recently has been my sister and her daughter "Josie" the walking, getting into everything toddler visiting these next two weeks!
The second most exciting this is my plan to order a hammock stand so i can set up my belize hammock in our yard and lounge there all the time!!!
The pastor, a former youth pastor for us back in high school, married them and I won't forget his message. Well there were a few but especially this; he said that both people came together in this marriage already complete and whole people and they knew who they were in God. So that now, their love could be so real and true and genuine because neither of them will need to find something in one another but their relationship is a wonderful gift from God for their betterment. I find it to be so true that when people are content and love themselves they can bring much more to another person and that relationship because they aren't looking selfishly for more or are in need of certain things to help their self-esteem. This is not to say however that their love is less intense, passionate or exciting and the pastor also reminded them of this as well; that even with their Earnest personalities they must remember to love with "reckless abandonment" and to not buy into the saying that love grows dimmer as the couple ages in marriage. He claimed quite the opposite actually.
I recently was reading a sermon on a similar idea of love. He (the minister) poses the question of how should love be dispensed? should it be frugally, cautiously, wisely, or sparingly? No, true love is wasteful and impractical. He made the correlation of this with the story (Mark 14) of Mary pouring the entire bottle of perfume on Jesus' feet. The other disciples and people he was eating with didn't understand her at all and immediately began criticizing her before Jesus and then Jesus tells them this, "Leave her alone. Why are you bothering her? She has done a beautiful thing to me. The poor will always be with you, and you can help them any time you want. But you will not always have me. She did what she could. She poured perfume on my body before to prepare for my burial. I tell you the truth, wherever the gospel is preached throughout the world, what she has done will also be told, in memory of her."
I found myself thinking anthropologically as I sat there witnessing this marriage service take place. I was becoming overwhelmed with thankfulness for the culture I am apart of and the customs and traditions we uphold; like this occasion of marriage for example. I think it is such a blessing we have to make marriage such a public and formal event to not only give the couple attention and honor but also for the betterment of the community itself-to remind those who are in attendance of the important things in life to uphold and respect and be in awe of. I thought how this service is an example of my American culture (as well as many others in their varying styles and customs) and in turn demonstrates some of my culture's values and traditions.
Interestingly too in a conversation with someone afterwards, this idea of comparing our culture with others came up. She was merely saying how she has been able to become content and happy "living at home still" as an adult. And what helped her get to this point she told me was the realization from study of other parts of the world that she would be looked at as quite the norm everywhere else, where people live with their families for years and years. She said it is only in this country or culture that you have people looking at you like you're weird when you end up living close to your own kin. I was happy for her and to see another example of how thinking anthropologically is so healthy!
As my post title says...turning a new page...this is kind of the second part. First it was my friends' marriage as a page being turned in their life and now I will share what page my life has turned from and where I see it heading.
This is the beginning of an entry on April 22, 2008.
"I can do it. I do have control over my life. I will go to class. I will go to work. I will "fake it to make it" ... I will accept the consequences of my previous behavior and choices made when depressed... I will be careful not to have higher expectations than is reasonable and appropriate. I do have ability to turn my attitude away from the comforting darkness.
I am strong. I will get better."
I'm still looking back at this last year and semester, smiling, as it was so much of a fight for survival which turned into so much more! I wanted to share for a change one of the positive/uplifting voices I have and hope it can reveal an honest face-value look at someone (quite ordinary and much like others out there) treating and getting better from depression and anxiety or any other mental disorder or illness.
I've been feeling what it is like to live a stable, functioning, life for months on end now and it has been incredible and very rewarding and fulfilling. So far this summer I have intensely job searched, gone on a roadtrip with my boyfriend and friends to Acadia NP in Maine for a week, Job searched some more, visited my boyfriend at his home before he left for a cross-the-country roadtrip, job searched a more...and now (finally) work through a temp agency and do clerical and filing work and also give swim lessons on the side. Working about 40 hours a week keeping me busy but still enough time for checking out 11 books at the library.
I love Summer Life. I really think i'm built for it. Work is good and mindless so i'm not stressed, then evenings spent curled up on a couch reading a good book or watching a movie with a friend (namely my other half, Kate Laramie).
The most exciting thing recently has been my sister and her daughter "Josie" the walking, getting into everything toddler visiting these next two weeks!
The second most exciting this is my plan to order a hammock stand so i can set up my belize hammock in our yard and lounge there all the time!!!
"Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery"
So, this summer I am living back at Home, with my niece, older brother and parents. It is a very interesting time in my life and I am gaining a very new perspective through this added family member living with us; Caitie, my 7 year old niece and my shadow, mind you.
I have been able to sit back and watch this child be raised by her grandparents, my parents; Nana and Pop-Pop. And this is the first time I have ever had someone younger than me since I am the baby of the family so it's quite interesting/scary/amusing/comforting. Let me explain.
When I was growing up, my sister next in age to me was my model and inspiration and basically our arguments and quibbles revolved around that truth. But, sometimes this kind of awe-like flattery can come across a little too over-the-top and annoying when you are the model. Why does she have to do everything I do? When will she just get her own life and think for herself? Why can't she just leave me a lone for a minute!? Honestly, can't she find her own creativity? And when I was the little copy-cat, shadowy image of my older sister Holly, these types of questions made little to no sense and seemed insignificant to me as a kid.
Nowadays, however I am finding myself to be the model and recipient of said copying and following from Caitie. I sometimes want to laugh at it because I see myself in her but then I see myself in Holly too and want to hide "so i can just get some peace and quiet alone". It's the age-old turning of the wheels, entering a new phase in life and seeing how the tables always do turn on you and you're forced to see yourself and your relationships through a different lens. Life is funny that way.
And so I want to draw attention to a wonderful memorable tv/book series called Anne of Green Gables because in the second installment there is a wonderful line spoken by Anne to some young admirer of hers. She says, in response to one of her girl students who claims she will wear her hair JUSt like that when she turns 18 that "imitation is the sincerest form of flattery". I was reminded of this the other week when I made my lunch and brought out a book to read on the deck of our house, with a bathing suit on and I find Caitie ready across the table from me with a bathing suit, visor and glasses with a stack of her "Junie B" books to read;)
This is a fundamental human way of learning and living: via imitation, doing, acting through following example. Theology/Religion relating to above--> Jesus makes sense in this train of thought because he is the Divine's ultimate example of perfection and holiness and everything we should strive after. This is all to please God but not only that; the scriptures also say it is for our own happiness and well-being; so that "it may go well with you and your off-spring." I think it so helpful and honestly a priviledge that we have recordings of Jesus so we can be his copy-cat to follow and learn and also we have many other wonderful Jesus-like figures in all different time periods, parts of the world, social classes, races, males and females. Yet i think just about EVERYONE can agree that Jesus' way of life is worthy of exemplifying.
can I get an amen?
If you read this blog, feel free to comment on this post with names of Jesus-like figures you live after.
I have been able to sit back and watch this child be raised by her grandparents, my parents; Nana and Pop-Pop. And this is the first time I have ever had someone younger than me since I am the baby of the family so it's quite interesting/scary/amusing/comforting. Let me explain.
When I was growing up, my sister next in age to me was my model and inspiration and basically our arguments and quibbles revolved around that truth. But, sometimes this kind of awe-like flattery can come across a little too over-the-top and annoying when you are the model. Why does she have to do everything I do? When will she just get her own life and think for herself? Why can't she just leave me a lone for a minute!? Honestly, can't she find her own creativity? And when I was the little copy-cat, shadowy image of my older sister Holly, these types of questions made little to no sense and seemed insignificant to me as a kid.
Nowadays, however I am finding myself to be the model and recipient of said copying and following from Caitie. I sometimes want to laugh at it because I see myself in her but then I see myself in Holly too and want to hide "so i can just get some peace and quiet alone". It's the age-old turning of the wheels, entering a new phase in life and seeing how the tables always do turn on you and you're forced to see yourself and your relationships through a different lens. Life is funny that way.
And so I want to draw attention to a wonderful memorable tv/book series called Anne of Green Gables because in the second installment there is a wonderful line spoken by Anne to some young admirer of hers. She says, in response to one of her girl students who claims she will wear her hair JUSt like that when she turns 18 that "imitation is the sincerest form of flattery". I was reminded of this the other week when I made my lunch and brought out a book to read on the deck of our house, with a bathing suit on and I find Caitie ready across the table from me with a bathing suit, visor and glasses with a stack of her "Junie B" books to read;)
This is a fundamental human way of learning and living: via imitation, doing, acting through following example. Theology/Religion relating to above--> Jesus makes sense in this train of thought because he is the Divine's ultimate example of perfection and holiness and everything we should strive after. This is all to please God but not only that; the scriptures also say it is for our own happiness and well-being; so that "it may go well with you and your off-spring." I think it so helpful and honestly a priviledge that we have recordings of Jesus so we can be his copy-cat to follow and learn and also we have many other wonderful Jesus-like figures in all different time periods, parts of the world, social classes, races, males and females. Yet i think just about EVERYONE can agree that Jesus' way of life is worthy of exemplifying.
can I get an amen?
If you read this blog, feel free to comment on this post with names of Jesus-like figures you live after.
Saturday, June 14, 2008
Kindred Spirits
My Roommates are so much apart of me, I just had to dedicate a blog post to them! Since I have been home for a whole week since Graduation and a road trip to Maine's Acadia NP, I have had some quiet time to reflect and admire the past year and memories made. I think the reason I love my friends so much is because of how different we all are from eachother. Here is a quick synopsis of my four roommates this past school year from 2007-2008.
Emily Powell the crazy, fun-filled, creative voice of the group; shopaholic for vintage, deals and wegmans' goodies at the end of a work day; master mac'ncheese and popcorn connoisseur and omelate maker; encourager, uplifter and seeker. She has a knack for compromise and communicating while also listening to other's viewpoints. She is so very other-oriented and self-less while always considering other people's strengths, talents, and struggles. And she is going to be Mark's wife in less than a month!!!! Oh and she makes THE best Baklava.
Laurabeth Weaner is a puzzle piece still being put together and she doesn't hide much but wears her emotions, ideals, opinions on her sleeve; A perfectionist cleaner, cook/baker, and student; She knows what she loves and that is competetive running, being outdoors, ice-cream, food in general, Meat, FREE food!! swing dancin', Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman, Farm boys, being absolutely ridiculous and laughing and probably first and foremost her Lord, Savior and God. She is like a memorable character in a book or movie:)
Gretchen Peck is the most loveable lady who commands respect and understanding from her listeners with her quiet, humble intellect and curiousities. She can do no wrong, this blonde beauty who loves good old Lottie Nelson (our school's dining hall) and was loyal to it even her last semester as a Senior. She is questioning but at the same time solid and grounded in who she is and how she sees the world. Our green thumb, country girl who is the best at being laid back, reading maps, crocheting, making gifts for people, knitting, sledding, jumping off cliffs, doing anything and daring others to join her in challenges;) one of our favorite phrases= "There are no wrong turns, only new adventures"
Elizabeth Monachello the ringleader, event coordinator, high spirited, highly motivated, beautiful personality as well as physique; a runner at heart, pusher, over-achiever, obsessor of cook books and peanutbutter and all things Italian. Liz has the utmost ability to do whatever she puts her mind to and she will see it through; she is loyal and faithful and radiant!
Emily Powell the crazy, fun-filled, creative voice of the group; shopaholic for vintage, deals and wegmans' goodies at the end of a work day; master mac'ncheese and popcorn connoisseur and omelate maker; encourager, uplifter and seeker. She has a knack for compromise and communicating while also listening to other's viewpoints. She is so very other-oriented and self-less while always considering other people's strengths, talents, and struggles. And she is going to be Mark's wife in less than a month!!!! Oh and she makes THE best Baklava.
Laurabeth Weaner is a puzzle piece still being put together and she doesn't hide much but wears her emotions, ideals, opinions on her sleeve; A perfectionist cleaner, cook/baker, and student; She knows what she loves and that is competetive running, being outdoors, ice-cream, food in general, Meat, FREE food!! swing dancin', Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman, Farm boys, being absolutely ridiculous and laughing and probably first and foremost her Lord, Savior and God. She is like a memorable character in a book or movie:)
Gretchen Peck is the most loveable lady who commands respect and understanding from her listeners with her quiet, humble intellect and curiousities. She can do no wrong, this blonde beauty who loves good old Lottie Nelson (our school's dining hall) and was loyal to it even her last semester as a Senior. She is questioning but at the same time solid and grounded in who she is and how she sees the world. Our green thumb, country girl who is the best at being laid back, reading maps, crocheting, making gifts for people, knitting, sledding, jumping off cliffs, doing anything and daring others to join her in challenges;) one of our favorite phrases= "There are no wrong turns, only new adventures"
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