Walk the Talk my friend

So, I can tell that my words and common phrases (very common and perhaps over-used?) with the children I work with, are being shined down upon from the heavens, I believe- to speak to this lowly human; so unworthy, but thankful none the less! Here is what I’ve been learning, in the glory of the illuminated screams and tantrums:

So back to these common phrases I utter to children every day; along with most adults present in their lives I am sure. I will commonly say, for example, “you need to control your body”  or that something like spitting on the floor is plainly, “not ok” or time to clean up is just “not your choice” are revealing themselves to be very applicable in my own life. 

I can hold myself from spitting, at least until i'm outside on a run. I know when it is ok and not ok, and I fortunately have ample opportunities to make choices like when to do something, on my own time schedule. However this does not mean I cannot relate to the three year old. Yep, I’m in my mid twenties and still  learning lessons these pre-schoolers are beginning to master. No shame though; I know I’m not alone! 

Whether these phrases are speaking to breaking bad habits of communication, or gaining control through discipline in terms of healthy intake and exercise of your body; I see clearly, thanks to this revelation from the heavens, that viewing these things NOT as an option or choice but as one of my very medications to function and survive; I’d be much better off! Sounds to me like when God’s prophets proclaim over and over again in the Old Testament or Hebrew Bible, “obey these laws…SO THAT, it may go well with you”. You see, I am diagnosed with Depression and anxiety and it is no secret of mine, nor of almost every family member close to me. I have had to accept that It is our similar cross to bear so to speak; the cards we were dealt, but it is not hopeless or the end of the world, even when depression tells you this repeatedly. 

Thankfully the way I interact with these little human beings tells me that to be better off, I need to act in such a way that these choices (control your body, that's not ok, it is not up to you) do not appear as actual choices. From now on I would like to make it my understanding that unhealthy habits of mine are no longer an option to choose but are simply not available to do. I must practice what will help me be better off; habits I just simply must practice to do every day. Correction, not simply, because if it was I wouldn't be writing this, but someday I hope them to at least come more naturally. FOR, the end result with the children, we are taught in Montessori, is ironically; what I claim so often to desire;

Independence!

And so, as of late I am telling KORI these common phrases simultaneously, as I look on in true empathy when these little ones struggle to put on their jackets, snow boots, gloves and mittens by themselves; when they become upset and lash out in their frustration when we suggest they first ask a friend to help them, before turning to a seemingly more wise and competent person (the teacherJ) to do the hard work for them.  

With freedom comes discipline, as I wrote a theory paper on this very topic, and girl, is it true! Freedom as an adult can so easily go awry and come to bite you in the butt if not used in moderation and consciousness. Just as I need to regulate the children's freedoms through these common phrases; I hope to really begin limiting my own freedoms as well; I guess that is another way of practicing discipline. 

That is something I have been aiming to do-even through this dry season of blogging. But I am glad to be back. I truly love to write-to express myself in such a way, I cannot deny is a special gift and I know this not because of people telling me, but because of the joy that overflows when my hands and fingers ache after a journal entry. Thank you for reading and always the feedback, responses, etc.

And I would love to hear some other “common phrases” too. It can get tiring to listen to one’s self, as I’m sure it is for the children too! At least they are in a sensitive period for repetition and language though, right Montessorians? ;)