The other day when I got off the phone with my new Muslim friend, I just couldn't help but be full of contentment, a sense of enlightenment, and joy. My roommate could obviously see it on my face and I told her, "Now I just need to find a job that lets me do that [speak to people of different religious and cultural experiences and backgrounds]" and I simply smiled at the ridiculousness of what I just requested. But then my roommate who had been listening commented, "Yeah! You should do that, whatever that is"...I guess I'll just have to see.
The theme of this year for me is getting out of survival mode, and I have dubbed 2008 as "living the imperfect life" and this morning I was able to check one more thing off my to do list for the end of this semester! Man does it feel good, to complete an assignment on time; maybe not my absolute best but that is not what I'm going for anymore...it's about surviving, making it through to the finish line. For too long in my college career have I not let this be my standard and priority. It has unfortunately caused much upset, pain and disappointment on my end. I never could measure up so then I started giving up in so many senses and honestly had forgotten the feeling; pleasure of handing in or presenting on something I worked on to the best of my capabilities and being done with it.
Fortunately though I feel a change coming on me and I welcome it with open arms! Partly it is due to other people but it also took on my part, willingness and humility to step down from my pedestal to welcome their help, encouragement and support which created a
renewed hope.
Thank you
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
Missing You
I love to listen to this song over and over...there's just something about it that brings me back to high school days but then also brings me to issues of lost family and friends from addictions, and other issues usually spawned from an outsider; force or influence.
If you don't know this one, definitely listen to it, not just read the lyrics:)
Song title: Wounded
Band: Third Eye Blind
"The guy who put his hands on you,
has got nothing to do with me.
And the bruises that you feel will heal
and I hope you come around,
cause we're missing you.
You used to speak so easy,
now you're afraid to talk to me.
Its like walking with the wounded.
Carrying that weight way too far,
the concrete pulled you down so hard
out there with the wounded,
We're missing you.
Well I never claimed to understand what happens after dark
but my fingers catch the sparks at the thought of touching you,
When you're wounded
......
Lemme break it down till I force the issue
You never come around and you know we miss you
Well nobody took your pride away
I said, "thats something people say"
Back down the bully to the back of the bus,
cause its time for them to be scared of us
till you're yelling how we're living cause you got the ball
and then you rock on, baby, rock on, you rock on. on and on.
If you don't know this one, definitely listen to it, not just read the lyrics:)
Song title: Wounded
Band: Third Eye Blind
"The guy who put his hands on you,
has got nothing to do with me.
And the bruises that you feel will heal
and I hope you come around,
cause we're missing you.
You used to speak so easy,
now you're afraid to talk to me.
Its like walking with the wounded.
Carrying that weight way too far,
the concrete pulled you down so hard
out there with the wounded,
We're missing you.
Well I never claimed to understand what happens after dark
but my fingers catch the sparks at the thought of touching you,
When you're wounded
......
Lemme break it down till I force the issue
You never come around and you know we miss you
Well nobody took your pride away
I said, "thats something people say"
Back down the bully to the back of the bus,
cause its time for them to be scared of us
till you're yelling how we're living cause you got the ball
and then you rock on, baby, rock on, you rock on. on and on.
Sunday, May 4, 2008
My Theology in Progress
Christ was able to say "forgive them for they know not what they do" I think because he had some other greater, superior knowledge to enable him to say this. I cannot accept Christ's gruesome and violently blood thirsty death to have been "necessary" for God's forgiveness and reconciliation. Maybe this is due to my lack of greater, superior, outsider knowledge that Christ possessed? Or I am thinking of this in a comparative way, in which I equate Jesus' violent, horrific death to any War, that in principle it should never be "necessary" and always, absolutely the last resort to conflict, power-struggle, oppression, etc...? I am also not sure I would have these thoughts and such a difficulty of acceptance I had so easily in the past. But after taking a biblical topics class on divine violence, I have asked the question why Jesus' death had to be necessary and the only plan God had in mind to enable a second chance for humanity? Can there be violence in Love? Is love able to exist alone in absence of the rest of the hurt, pain, evil, perverted, violence to counterbalance it and define it even more? Because I can definitely see the argument for love not able to exist in its most extreme and powerful form without an extreme opposite to help, but still when it comes to the divine and celestial beings and the spiritual world, why can't violence be left alone?
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